Beauty has secrets. Women showed them to me.
A love letter to the women who taught me lessons about grace, humour, originality, and strength.
What do great minds think about Beauty?
I searched.
The Italian poet Dante Alighieri gave me something I could really connect with:
Beauty awakens the soul to act.
Indeed, all the women I consider beautiful wove intricate lessons into my character. From their depth and width, I was called to action — to navigate life calmly, to understand my privileges, to seek better ways of being and of becoming.
To personify beauty is to plant hopeful seeds: A fertile idea. An aspiration. A connection. A nudge.
Are these not what gods and mortals sought from The Muses?
Of the bevy of ladies I shared time with, a handful glow in my web of memories. The thought of their smile makes me smile, and I imagine them out there blossoming as they often do.
I offer you my gratitude in letters, fair maiden. Thank you for shining your light onto my existence. Thank you for showing me profound beauty.
Almerita: On defiance and forging paths
She’s ahead of her time, honest and unshakeable. My rebellious bones, she birthed them.
“You can do anything you want,” she said. “You don’t have to do what everyone is doing; you don’t have to do what you’re told. But you best learn how to manage the consequences.”
So I got into all sorts of trouble…and I learned how to get out of them. From her I knew not to panic in the face of confrontation or danger. She’s a Taurean, a bull; ready and steady, fun and fearless.
Ruby: On being graceful and gracious
I met her at 3 years old; the first woman in my life who wasn’t my mother. She gave me emotional security — to understand that I wasn’t being abandoned each time mum went to work. She was calm and lovely, always with a sweet smile and a twinkle in her eye. Her voice was a song. She passed away in 2021. Her memory makes my heart ache.
Salinia: On silence and seeing
Mother of my father, a mountain woman from the Igorot tribe. She looked at me like I was a heartbreakingly rare gem. I saw my brilliance through her timeworn eyes. We spoke different languages so we rarely communicated verbally — we conversed through our eyes instead. She made silence comfortable and welcoming. I perceive her in my mushroom trips and she makes me want to believe in ancestral wisdom. From her I learned to ‘see’ and where to search.
Cristeta: On humour and articulation
My auntie, the eldest sister of my dad. She was a lawyer, and a much-loved one. I don’t know much about her life as a woman, except that she never settled down because she was too picky, and that she’s highly esteemed by her students, colleagues, friends and family. She has a joyful demeanor even when she is/was grumpy. She still cracks jokes through her current and worsening dementia. She still asks impressive questions. She still talks about her fantasies. From her I learned that I didn’t have to be tall to be a giant of sorts.
Almyra: On natural charm and welcoming attention
My auntie, the youngest and only sister of my mum. She was a teenager when I was a child, and I met her many young and hopeful suitors. She has an angelic beauty, an infectious smile. She used to tell me and my brothers scary stories — some, even in my 30s, still haunt me. She always has something funny to say, always tickling people with her comedy. From her I knew real and honest charm.
Angelina: On gentleness and service
My auntie-in-law, the cushion of my younger years. I grew up with a family of fierce and funny characters. She was the only one who was gentle, soft-spoken, and ever-ready to offer comfort. She took pride in her service: cutting hair, mending clothes, polishing people’s nails. Her gentleness touches me. From her I know softness — something I have to proactively nurture.
Eunice: On candidness and spontaneity
Ney was the first girl I met at uni. Her and I bonded over our shared honesty in observing situations and ourselves. She introduced me to my first boyfriend and witnessed my multiple lives. She can have a good laugh at being silly, I adore her strong sense of self. She reminds me to keep my ease.
Shai + Keithy: On platonic support and nerditude
Opposite sides of the same coin, two very different playmates in different chapters of my young life. Yet both were similar in their curiosities and smartass-ery. Rarely was I able to have intelligent conversations with my peers as a child, but Shai and Keith fed me girly hope that we could do great things…whatever ‘greatness’ meant. Both were instrumental to my academic advancement and further education.
Kitin: On modernness and sharpness
Sometimes you just can’t quite explain how someone can be so attractive in the way they express themselves. She’s more acquaintance than friend, and holds such high regard in my memories. I know very little of her life, yet it can feel like who she is matters so much more than what she does, like a well-rounded character in a futuristic story book. From her I know brilliance.
Virgie: On mastery of language and innovation of craft
She was one of my communications teachers at uni. She cracked open worlds for me. Her eloquence and character inspired me to try new ways of getting my words out, and to be excited about the technical art of writing. She was a true professional who truly cared about potential and promise. From her I learned originality and enterprise.
Pie: On expanding networks and financial possibilities
We crossed paths at an interesting timeline and she (knowingly or unknowingly) gave me a tutorial in social expansion and fair exchange: how to negotiate, why timing matters, which information to invest in. She made business look so sweet and natural. I loved watching her speak. From her I know grace under pressure.
These beauties were instrumental to my formative and teenage years. There were some more.
The Muses who came to my life in my 20s and 30s deserve their own space and introduction. Someday soon.
